Selfishly, I exhaled at regular intervals
I had a nice long bike ride on Sunday. However, it occurred to me later that the whole time I was not even considering the impact on global warming due to my exhaling carbon dioxide. Near the end of the ride I stopped to fill my water bottle and decided to sit in the shade for a bit. This was all I could find and I hogged all of it.
Later, it occurred to me that I hadn't even considered the impact on global warming due to my having a black nylon bike pack (instead of the common white brick bike pack). How embarrassing. Well at least not as embarrassing as being the person honored with this 30 foot "expressway" named after her (at taxpayer expense? for how many dollars?). I bet that before it was paved, that path was a wetland where moose and caribou roamed freely.
2 comments:
Selfish indeed! Though consider the consequences of limiting your number of exhalations:
Carbon dioxide levels in your blood increase, causing your vital organs to go into panic mode – you simultaneously throw-up, soil yourself, and pass out, leaving the innocent bystander to call 911. The owner of that stretch of public bypass gets instant attention, as your unfortunate situation is likely to make it onto the 6:00 news (or at least it would around here – they are desperate for legitimate news stories to fill the gaps between the weather, sports, and the basket full of puppies that was left on the local street corner . . . and I live in Denver!) Public humiliation (if you are inclined to such) and the cost of medical treatment . . . the cascade of events goes on and on.
I think it would be wise to continue to exhale at regular intervals, but do us all a favor and remedy the back pack situation . . . because, really, why bother leaving the house if you can’t do so fashionably?
Point taken on the backpack. Some things are inexcusable.
On the other stuff, I'm open to the possibility that:
1) simultaneously throwing-up, soiling myself, and passing out is an experience not to be missed,
2) I should be willing to endure public humiliation if it will bring back the moose and caribou, and
3) along the lines of my comment about the up-side of your husband being a shit-magnet, I could be providing a public service in providing relatively predictable "accidents" that would be good training for the first responders.
Decisions, decisions.
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