Who will you acknowledge right now?

It turned out that my father died at the end of February. To me, he was a great man, a role model, and a regular source of inspiration. I'm sorry that he is gone and that more people didn't get the gift it was to have known him. Part of the "silver lining" from the events leading up to and following his passing was noticing and taking some opportunities to acknowledge him and others. So many people, from family and friends to those "just doing their jobs", were generous, supportive, and committed to making a difference in his life and/or mine.

In too many cases though, I caught myself noticing something to acknowledge someone for but letting it remain just a "conversation" in my head. What often stopped me from actually acknowledging them was:

A) waiting for the "best" opportunity instead of taking advantage of the good enough opportunity right in front of me,

B) not making a promise to myself or, better, to others, to do it at some definite time later, or

C) wondering whether I might make someone uncomfortable by "making a big deal" about something or picking the wrong format or venue (public vs private, speaking to them vs writing to them, etc), or leaving them with the idea that I want something from them in return (including an acknowledgment of me from them).

I've also noticed (by way of the subtle technique of friends telling me, point blank) that I've been reluctant to acknowledge myself and accept acknowledgment from others without looking for and stating some offsetting negative element. I've very often focused on where I fell short of my goal and I've taken my achievements for granted, not leaving myself very empowered. An acknowledgment from someone, like "Wow!, You did a great job!" would too often get a response from me along the lines of "it could have been better" or "better late than never" or "if you knew how long it took me you wouldn't be so impressed". I see now that it is just a matter of generosity on my part to accept the value of my contribution to them from THEIR point of view and that doing so is not inconsistent with any commitment I may have to excel.

So, since I know I'm not unique in any of this, I'm letting you in on my relatively new "secret" plan "B" for acknowledging others and myself, namely:

1) I won't hold out for that "best" opportunity to acknowledge someone, since it may not ever materialize; my new best time is NOW!

2) When I'm not able to communicate with the person right then, like during space shuttle re-entry or certain episodes of Seinfeld or South Park, I won't miss the opportunity to promise myself to acknowledge them at the very next opportunity (like by actually scheduling it) and I'll start by acknowledging them to anyone else, right then, right there.

3) On the format/venue issue, I'll go with "when in doubt, write it out". After all, there is that whole "greeting card" industry thing supporting that approach, so I just won't be stopped by that verbal thing. If I'm nervous about it for any reason, I'll just take on being courageous.

4) I'll include myself in my list of people to acknowledge and my new response when someone acknowledges me will be "Thank you!".

So, just because I can (and to show off), here's me being in action with the plan "B" that works for me, from an item just off the top of my head:

Who: my sister
When: right now
Where: right here
What: My sister has been the great communicator of the family. Mom & I talked the most but, often, we were just reporting things in front of other people, telling our stories and recounting conversations with third parties, such that we didn't know much more about the people who were with us when we finished than when we started. Jan has been the one we went to when we needed to "get through" to someone and she always seems to know what is really going on. She's been the hub at the center of the wheel. There have been many times that who she was to each of us in the family made the difference in us resolving a problem, keeping things in an appropriate "big picture" context, or just being in communication effectively. I'm very grateful for the glue she has provided in keeping us connected as a family. Thanks, Jan, for you being you!

So who's next? I can hear you screaming "Pick Me! Pick Me!", so since YOU are reading this, yes, I invite YOU to be next. It's a bit of a game we are playing here so I'll try to come up with at least 10 rules to add to the fun.

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The Rules:

1) Just click on "Comments (Add/View)" and, acknowledge one or more people, just because you can.

2) You get bonus points if you are willing to acknowledge yourself for something, especially something that no one has acknowledged you for before (or even knows to acknowledge you for).

3) You can name names or leave them out. They'll know who you are talking about--especially if it is you acknowledging yourself, I hope.

4) After you have posted an acknowledgment here, you get bonus points when you invite the person to read your acknowledgment here. (NOTE: This is really a trick so that they'll be invited to acknowledge someone themselves. I'd like to acknowledge myself for being clever.)

5) You get DOUBLE EXTRA BONUS POINTS for inviting others to post an acknowledgment just because they can. (NOTE: This will open up the game to people that DO NOT appreciate being tricked into doing something they find satisfying by people trying to score bonus points under Rule #4.)

6) If you are already an acknowledgment virtuoso, in addition to acknowledging someone, feel free to share a great story about having acknowledged someone that will inspire others to acknowledge others themselves.

7) It doesn't have to be the grand blockbuster of all time acknowledgment. Letting the paper boy know that you appreciate his skill and diligence about not knocking over your flower pot on the front porch is just the kind of thing to not "step over" on the way to something else. On the other hand, here are two pools of people you might want to consider:

a) people who have and/or are making a major difference in your life
b) anyone who inspires you with their commitment and achievement in the face of tough circumstances

8) If you are "just" making a public promise to acknowledge someone at another time or place, let us know what you will be acknowledging them for and we'll pretend it doesn't count and you didn't get anything out of writing it down.

9) It's just a game, so if you don't like the rules, make up your own rules or, otherwise, say whatever you want to say, especially sharing what works for you!

10) TRIPLE QUADRUPLE EXTRA BONUS POINTS if you'd like to join my team in promoting other methods/opportunities/venues for people to acknowledge each other. What would life be like if we regularly looked for the greatness in others and in ourselves and acknowledged each other for it? Let's start an avalanche!!!

the drama of socks in my closet reaches a fever pitch (in my head)

Having a heightened awareness to what might be going on with socks in my closet, I've been staying up to all hours of the night for the purpose of bursting into the closet, unexpectedly, to grab candid photos. Clearly, this time, I caught them in the act of something but I'm not quite sure what. At first I thought it was obvious that right sock was bored with hanging out with dress shoes and was making a blatant play for the affection of the sexy and adventurous running shoes, leaving left sock so embarrassed that it was crawling into the shoe shine box to hide. Almost immediately though, it became equally obvious that that wasn't it at all. Right sock was clearly asleep and left sock, taking advantage of right sock's trusting nature, was sneaking off to get high off of shoe polish (and claims to be able to give it up at anytime--yeah, right).

Wrong! Twice! It's so easy to jump to conclusions! It finally occurred to me that if I wanted to know what socks were up to I could just ask (duh!). It turns out that right sock had borrowed some money from shoeshine brush but didn't want left sock to know. Socks had not been working very much lately so right sock was behind in its payments. Shoeshine brush, taking advantage of the situation, was coercing right sock to shine dress shoes at night, for less than a fair wage, threatening to reveal right sock's money management ineptitude to left sock. Left sock, finally noticing what was going on (slow but not stupid), reminded right sock that they were a team and no small circumstance such as this was going to get in the way of them creating and living a life they love. No, left sock was not on the way to kick shoeshine brush's ass, it was just having an amazing conversation with shoeshine brush, who had just had a breakthrough in realizing that jealousy over socks' regular intimate contact with feet had been controlling its actions and had very nearly cost it the love and affinity of both socks and feet (who, of course, were bound to find out).

A recent competition of geniuses included listing the uses for a sock. I think the winner listed 15. I'll be adding "mirror of human behavior" to the list.