First the earth cooled. Many millions of years later, I appeared and decided that having a convenient outlet for self-expression and public exchanges would be a good thing, so here it is. I'll be posting whatever strikes me as interesting, useful, or funny. I hope to get as much as I give, so don't be shy--let me know what you think (click on "Comments (Add/View)" under the entry) and I'll get a notice. I'm Glenn, the Glennformer, and this is Glennformation.

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

the drama of socks in my closet reaches a fever pitch (in my head)


Having a heightened awareness to what might be going on with socks in my closet, I've been staying up to all hours of the night for the purpose of bursting into the closet, unexpectedly, to grab candid photos. Clearly, this time, I caught them in the act of something but I'm not quite sure what. At first I thought it was obvious that right sock was bored with hanging out with dress shoes and was making a blatant play for the affection of the sexy and adventurous running shoes, leaving left sock so embarrassed that it was crawling into the shoe shine box to hide. Almost immediately though, it became equally obvious that that wasn't it at all. Right sock was clearly asleep and left sock, taking advantage of right sock's trusting nature, was sneaking off to get high off of shoe polish (and claims to be able to give it up at anytime--yeah, right).
Wrong! Twice! It's so easy to jump to conclusions! It finally occurred to me that if I wanted to know what socks were up to I could just ask (duh!). It turns out that right sock had borrowed some money from shoeshine brush but didn't want left sock to know. Socks had not been working very much lately so right sock was behind in its payments. Shoeshine brush, taking advantage of the situation, was coercing right sock to shine dress shoes at night, for less than a fair wage, threatening to reveal right sock's money management ineptitude to left sock. Left sock, finally noticing what was going on (slow but not stupid), reminded right sock that they were a team and no small circumstance such as this was going to get in the way of them creating and living a life they love. No, left sock was not on the way to kick shoeshine brush's ass, it was just having an amazing conversation with shoeshine brush, who had just had a breakthrough in realizing that jealousy over socks' regular intimate contact with feet had been controlling its actions and had very nearly cost it the love and affinity of both socks and feet (who, of course, were bound to find out).
A recent competition of geniuses included listing the uses for a sock. I think the winner listed 15. I'll be adding "mirror of human behavior" to the list.

1 comment:

nancy said...

seriously. this is so fucking funny.

please. don't let the lack of comments stop you from continuing.

You know, if only there was some website available for the public to use so they could applaud someone. Damn. You'd be all over it.